Nearly 48 hours after a disappointing end to their beloved ice hockey team's season, Boston Bruins fans pulled their revolutionary-war era muskets off the wall, dusted their pitchforks, put down their beer cans, and, with shouts of "Thomas! Thomas!" in the air, stormed Washington in retaliation.
However, after wandering the streets for several minutes without finding a single monument to tear down, a single politician to harass, or a single Capital's fan to throw hamburgers at, the enraged fans realized that had gotten drunk enough to end up in the wrong Washington.
This morning, residents of Washington, Connecticut woke up to black and gold-clad protesters in the streets and empty beer bottles being thrown through their windows. For a time, there was nothing that they could do as the residents were outnumbered 10 to 1. It was only after the Boston fans had passed out that they were able to escape to nearby towns.
"It was scary", said one bewildered father of two, "You don't want to cross an angry Boston fan, ever."
After nearly nine hours, the fans left for Massachusetts, and left behind broken hockey sticks and thousands of beer cans. The town plans to hire the Chinese to erect a giant wall around their border by the time the Celtics finish their season. However, because Celtics fans are a bit more civilized than their Bruins counterparts, they are more likely to invade the correct city, or, due to long sports rivalries, they may start an "Occupy Yankees Stadium" in New York.