SCRANTON, May 22, 2011:
New reports have indeed confirmed that the hippy who lives in the cardboard box on the corner of 2nd and Trump has indeed predicted the exact time and date when the world will end.
He said to a few passer-bys earlier today that the world will end when "he gets off this damn purple unicorn" that he is currently riding.
When will the end of the world come? That butterfly in Canada got it wrong again! 3994? Nope. 2011? Wrong! I'll tell you when the world will end. It will.... whoa... it will end when I get off this damn unicorn and make that alieney thingy move its eight heads!
Reports say that the eight-head "alieney thingy" was most likely the stop sign on that particular corner. No unicorns were found on scene.
The hippy went on to claim that Bob Marley was his ex-girlfriend and that the reporter who was at the scene had a mother "fatter than the dumpster behind the building". When questioned further, the man went into his box, saying that his hookah needed to be fed.
So there you have it folks, the end of the world will soon be upon us (again)!