PYONGYANG: The North Korean government finally reacted to the recent launch of a monkey into space by the Iranian government by vowing that they would do better.
In a statement published by the government, the regime vowed to "concentrate all of our mightiest efforts into showing the greatness that this peaceful program offers to the world."
"This greatness can be shown when we launch an elephant into space. An elephant, because it is the mightiest animal on this planet and the only animal that can properly carry the honor of our great leader."
The North Koreans have promised to achieve that goal by the end of the calendar year.
This promise, like most others published by the rogue nation, was met by indifference from the rest of the world, and in some cases, by amusement.
"There is a big difference between a monkey, and an elephant. A monkey can weight about the same as a human astronaut, while an elephant can be as heavy as 15,000 pounds." said Tim Gatley, a scientist at NASA. "When we design our launches and our missions, we consider every object and ask, 'does that really need to be there?' because when you try to put a rocket into space, every ounce counts."
It's widely believed that North Korea will fail to accomplish this feat, if they manage to get it off the ground at all. Said Gatley, "They just got a rocket with a satellite into space. Now they need to figure out how to get the rocket back onto earth."