ALABAMA: Howard P. Johnson, the man accused of murdering a fly with a bible, was brought into court today to be tried for his crimes. This high-profile case began two months ago when a bible was found in the trash with the fly's remains on the back cover, which was stained by the blood of the victim. Police soon traced the bible to the house of Mr. Johnson, who admitted his guilt and was brought to jail.

Mr. Johnson, who pleaded not guilty today in court, said that it was "Just another fly" and that many people have killed flies before and that he did not understand why he was being tried for it. His reason for his plea was because "I killed with a bible, in the name of god. God told me to kill that fly."

Using a bible for violence is commonplace in our history, where many less-than-perfect Christians have displayed bruises caused by flying bibles, most often thrown by overly religious spouses or parents. Take, for example, this incident a few weeks ago, which is one of many that have happened in this month alone. Bibles are heavy objects that can cause serious injury or death when used as a projectile (taken right from the warning label on the box).

Killing flies is a crime in all 50 states and is punishable with life in jail. Though flies are not citizens and therefore have little actual rights in the United States, they are thought to have very decent qualities and are normally treated with the utmost respect by humans, who enjoy sharing their meals with them and allow flies to bite or sting them without complaint.

A verdict in Mr. Johnson's case is expected to be reached at 2pm ET.