A very official and serious scientific panel finished a 10 year study on a number of other studies that were based on other studies and concluded something that was previously only slated "possible but unlikely" by the scientific community.

The panel concluded that water is indeed wet.

Our reporter Loretta von Birch was at the scene today to interview some of the world's most revered scientists who were on the very notable panel:

"Leafy, today the scientific community was rocked today by the conclusions that water is wet. Previously, the idea was held at an unlikely theory that was heavily disputed in the Middle East and in Texas. Many of those individuals questioning the theory tried to prove that water is anything BUT wet. They used mermaids, unicorns, fruit, and cheese as examples, yet none of them could come up with a differing theory. One woman flew her helicopter into a lake in Alaska, then blew it up to prove that it will still burn and therefore isn't wet. However, they can all go home now as the panel has concluded that water can be described officially as "wet".

This study was performed in Nobodycares, WY. Population: X/0.