"So because I got a lotta paperwork to do this morning, we're gonna flip on the TV and watch some Spongebob and chill, ok?"
That right there is one part of the first sentence that the instructor said to my class in Driver's education, the supposedly single most boring week of a teen's life. If you guessed, you are correct. This week has been turning out to be anything except boring. My instructor is hilarious and features a profanity-filled vocabulary, my class "gells" really well and is full of future comedians, and we have so far spent more time watching the Maury show and Jerry Springer than discussing vehicles.
But when we aren't watching trash tv, we are actually discussing the meaning of "Stop" signs, a very complex and confusing aspect that baffles drivers everywhere. We also compared the likeness of a yield sign to a martini glass (I'm not making anything up here), witnessed what would happen if two cars got into an accident (one falls off the whiteboard or something), and proved that the driver's manual is a lie: RR signs are not the only circular signs (and according to the instructor, the smart-ass who made the comment (who does that sound like) can take their stupid evacuation signs and shove it).
So to give you some insight into what could possibly be the least boring class I've ever had to take, I present you the best answers ever heard in Driver's Education:
If a "Speed Limit" sign says 50 MPH, what is the speed limit?"
70!!!
What is the legal way to transport an open container of alcohol?
Paper bag.
And a few more memorable quotes:
(While watching the Maury show): 30 kids? Which f***ed up dude has 30 kids? Homie ain't right!
Yeah I saw a cop show once where they bagged a kid for transporting a keg of beer in the passenger seat. You gotta be f***ing stupid to do that.
Aw, the cops LOVE pulling the kids over. Even if it's just for a chat, they will always get you for something. But me, they never pull me over! You guys need to get those puffy wigs or somethin.
California Roll", what's that, some new kind of joint?
Well if the cops pull you over and a big cloud of marijuana smoke is comin out the window, I think you're past the point of "probable cause" to search the vehicle.
The cops aren't stupid. You are gonna have a bunch of them (beer bottles) in a bag, not one in the center console. What you gonna say- "I was just going to recycle it"?
WHO TOUCHED MY F***ING AIR CONDITIONER?!?!?!
Now that I've got you, you know. If I ever hear about you gettin pulled over for DUI, I'll kick your ass
My son and I got an agreement. If he calls, I'll go and get him, and then kick his ass for getting drunk. If he drives home drunk, I'll kick his ass, and then kick his ass again. And then I'll take his license away.
Oh and here's a good song (and video) that we watched for fun only- not required by the RMV or anything. Highly suggest you check it out- it's about stupid road signs.
